“Mommy, Please Don’t Leave Me” – A Mother’s Fight to Save Herself for Her Daughter
I’ll never forget that night—the night my whole world came crashing down. I was lying awake in the stillness, my heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of my chest. My doctor’s words echoed in my mind like a drumbeat I couldn’t escape: “If you don’t lose the weight, you may not wake up tomorrow.”
I turned to look at my little girl, Macyn, curled up beside me, her tiny hand clutching my blanket. Tears welled in my eyes as I thought of her growing up without her mommy. Just a few nights before, she had whispered to me, “Mommy, please don’t leave me,” her voice trembling because she’d heard my labored breaths. I could see the worry in her sweet face, and it shattered me. I was failing her. I was failing myself.
At over 400 pounds, I felt trapped—physically, emotionally, in every way. I was suffocating under the weight of my body and the crushing guilt of every failed diet, every workout I couldn’t keep up with, every “miracle solution” that promised change but left me feeling even more hopeless. I didn’t even recognize the woman I saw in the mirror anymore. I hated her. I hated me.
One sleepless night, in the middle of my despair, I was scrolling through the internet when I came across something that made me stop. Scientists had discovered what they called “the swamp,” this hidden imbalance in the gut microbiome that they said was the real cause of weight gain and cravings. For the first time, something clicked. It’s not your fault, it said. And I just started crying. All this time, I thought I was weak, lazy, incapable—but maybe there was more to it.
That moment changed everything. I became determined. I dove headfirst into research and found simple steps I could take—like adding fermented foods and a morning ritual that seemed so easy it almost felt silly. I didn’t think it would work, but I had to try.
The first few days, I didn’t notice much. But then, a week later, the scale moved. I lost 9 pounds in one week. I couldn’t believe it. The cravings that used to rule my life started to fade. I felt a little lighter—not just in my body, but in my spirit. And week after week, the weight kept coming off.
I lost 20 pounds. Then 50. Then 75. By the time six months had passed, I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I could walk without pain. My knees didn’t ache. I could play with Macyn in the park—actually play—and not feel like I was going to collapse. I laughed more. I smiled more. I started to dream again.
In total, I lost 240 pounds. But what I gained? It’s immeasurable. I gained my health, my confidence, and my life. I looked in the mirror one day, and for the first time in years, I saw me. The me I thought was gone forever. Strong. Capable. Worthy of love.
One night, as I was tucking Macyn into bed, she wrapped her little arms around me and said, “Mommy, you look so happy now. I’m so glad you stayed with me.” I held her so tight and just let the tears fall. She didn’t know how close I’d come to giving up. But I stayed. I fought. For her. For me.
And that’s why I’m sharing my story. Because I know what it feels like to be trapped, to feel like there’s no way out. I started Lean for Good® because I want to help people find their way, just like I did. I want you to know that there’s hope, even when it feels like there isn’t.
If I can do it, you can too. I’m living proof that it’s never too late to rewrite your story. So take that first step. You’re stronger than you know, and you are so worth it.
The Story Continues Here.
Read on to find out more.
